The Doctor Saved My Life

So today is Monday 23rd of November. A normal day for many, but for Whovians around the world it is the 57th Birthday of the Sci-Fi TV Show, Doctor Who. A show about an Alien who travels in space and time in his Tardis (for non Doctor Who Fans thats the name of his spaceship)

I came to know about the show in 2005 when the show was revitalised for a new generation. I had heard of the words Daleks in my house but never knew what they were. And I have never shared what this show means to be, I usually just say how it is my favourite show. But today, let me share the deeper reason why I enjoy this show.

15 years ago when the show returned to our screens, I was in the transition of primary to secondary school. I was not excited about it and was being bullied quite badly by individuals I had to spend the next 6 years with. I was in a very bad mental state, to the point where I thought living wasn’t important and I wanted to give up. I was seen as different because I liked to dance, I loved drama, I loved singing. As a south asian boy, that was seen as wrong by the other south asian boys, who would put me down, use me as a target in PE and made school life a hell.

Then on the evening of Saturday 26th of March, 6 days after my 12th Birthday, my parents sat down to watch this show. I was feeling terrible and didn’t want to watch anything. Worrying about the next day of school, worry about what was going to come next. But that opening sequence with Christopher Ecclestone and Billie Piper had be captured instantly. I was hooked on these dummies that were coming to life, I was intrigued by this strange man who knew how to fight living plastic. I was transported to another world for 45 minutes.

For the next 13 weeks, no matter what was going on in school, how many tears I cried, no matter how low I felt and worthless that I felt, I knew I had 45 minutes where I wasn’t going to care and I was on an adventure. I was 12 year old Sanjay who didn’t care about the negative energies. I remember going to Waterstones and getting small trinkets of Doctor Who then going to Waterstones and getting the novels. So when it wasn’t on TV, I was able to dive into these books. My mum knew how much I loved the show and got me my very first book that was from the 90s. After 13 weeks, I had enough to help me escape until the next episodes aired.

Christopher Ecclestone was the first Doctor I came across. Then on Christmas 2005, Scottish Actor David Tennant appeared in a full blown amazing Festive episode. I was in high school and the bullying was much intenser than Primary School. The bullies had met other bullies from other schools. I remember crying on breaks, sitting alone at lunch, dodgeball/football was painful in school. I was in a worse place than before. But what I had still was my Saturdays for 13 weeks but now also my amazing drama teacher.

Through my learning of drama, all the way through high school I was learning about character development, stories, plot and I put this learning to the show. It was here in high school that I started to see that this is a career that I would love to take a journey in. But being south asian I never thought it would be possible. But from the age of 12 onwards, Doctor Who was the show that helped my mental health and helped me put my love of drama into something that I see.

It was a struggle but over the years I grew more and more in love with this show as it began to educate on topics of history, prominent figures, the writing and plotholes were getting the clogs going.

I then at the end of 6th year, knew that I wanted to go into acting and theatre. I lied to my parents saying I missed the UCAS deadline for universities, as I was going to go and do law and translation, something else I was passionate about. But my heart wasn’t truly in it. I love languages but I have a deeper love for the arts. I then got a place at City of Glasgow College, to then getting accepted into Short Courses at the Royal Conservatoire of Scotland. I was studying in a place where I was meeting other people who were inspired by the show. Then on April Fools 2015, I was given an unconditional offer to study Contemporary Performance Practice at RCS. A real turning point in my career as an artist. Here I met other artists who were into the show, I started having weekend group viewings of the show with friends from the MACCT degree and my friend, the amazing cellist Simone Seales. I met my best friend, Leslie Schipa, who has been someone I have had many chats and viewings with. As an actor going around and seeing shows, thanks to friends I was able to meet other actors and creatives. I did my own networking, being myself (chatty as the years went on I grew in confidence thanks to my drama teacher) and met some of the amazing creatives behind Doctor Who Projects, such as writers James Goss, Scott Handcock, Artist Lee Binding, Creative Chris Allen and Paddy Freeland. I met actors Pearl Mackie, Michelle Ryan and Sharon D Clarke and Alex Kingston.

In 1st year Leslie told me about a convention like no other in LA. I never expected in 2015 I would go. A wee guy from Glasgow who was told in school I would never get a degree or go to University. I did in the end! But in 2020 I finally got the chance to go to Gallifrey One. And it definitely was a convention like no other. There was educational discussions and essays done, there was talks, and the creatives all mingled. The convention Gallifrey One was made mainly of creatives that I met. I am still in contact with people across the world now, in Covid Lockdown I did podcasts and video blogs about the show. I met amazing people such as DJ Phil, Abie, Joy, Kevin, Michelle, Nicole, Breanna, Tai, Nicklas, Anthony,Debs and many more! And I am in an amazing group called GallifreyStands, with a ton of creative people in it. People with whom my story relates to many of them.

At this event I got to connect with writers I have been inspired by such as Paul Cornell, Vinay Patel and Joy Wilkinson. Writers who I have loved their episodes but also as people they were so welcoming to speak to and supportive towards emerging artists. Vinay Patel’s episode Demons on the Punjab for me showed how a sci-fi show got many people discussinf British Raj and Partition. A topic I was never taught in school was my own history of India/Pakistan partition and it made me smile and warm that a show that changed my life was changing future generations’ by talking about their history that has been invisible in education.

I also have been apart of an LGBT+ group called “Friends of Ace”. It has been great to meet others and be able to share stories on how similar journeys have been. A group started by my fabulous friend Aaron Lowe, who also creates fantastic art.

I have met many of the actors that have played the Doctors. Doctors 5,6,7,9,10,11 & 12.

Meeting Peter Capaldi at an awards ceremony, Sylvester McCoy at the drinks after Three Sisters at the Tron, Peter Davison in LA, Colin Baker at my first comic con in 2006, Matt Smith at the end of his show in the bar at the Royal Court, Christopher Ecclestone in LA and screaming at David Tennant in RCS at the end of my 1st year.

Meeting Christopher Ecclestone was great to be able to say thank you to the guy who helped a young 12 year old not want to end his life. To then meeting David Tennant, even though i got into trouble for shouting at him for a photo, was a great moment because his run coincided with my learning of drama and it was great to thank him igniting that creative passion in me.

From reading books, watching the shows, listening to audiobooks, meeting creatives, to talking about topics from race to sexuality to class related to the show, to being a apart of podcasts, to growing in confidence to meeting other creatives whose stories are relatable. The show has had a lasting affect, it helped with my mental health in a time when I didn’t want to be alive. But now looking back it has been the reason I am in the industry I enjoy and has given me friends of many ages and places around the world. I am just thankful that the tv show came back in the time it did. Through my time and the people I have met from the show and the people who are fans, everyone is caring and supportive and it truly is like one big family.

I have travelled to London, Wales and LA and experienced some amazing moments in my life thanks to the confidence and space this show gave me to not let the bullies get me down and to keep strong, and that the end of the tunnel always has a light and a hand that will support you! And I have found those friends <3

This is the show that gave me the confidence to go into an industry that isn’t easy lets be honest, but to create work and share my story. It gave me the passion in writing and sharing stories. It gave me a space that school never gave me, until I got to University.

I chose to write this piece because I wanted to share how one show had an impact on me. And I know friends who have had the same with other TV shows. But like the 11th Doctor says:

" We Are All Stories In The End, Just Make It A Good One”

So this was how The Doctor Saved My Life, and I am thankful that I was able to tell him in LA in person. Thank you and this blog I dedicate to all the amazing whovians out there who have had a similar journey.

Peace and Love

Sanjay